why is it so hard?

Well... after working so many hours I cleaned each corner of my house except the birds room... My pet sitting birds arrived before I could do the birds room and I can't do it while they are here.  Why because as healthy as my birds are, all birds carry silent issues.  Thus I can not expose other birds to anything mine carry.   It is all a matter of chance but a chance I do not take with other peoples lovely family members.

So I've worked hard physically.
I've kept myself busy in order not to go crazy!
? no job!
But at least I am not spending money, wasting gas, and I am saving us money by getting things on sale when I can and planning ahead as I once did.

BUT at some point I have got to get another job.
YES I am looking each day... YES I have a quota of putting out at least 10 applications and resumes' a day and I do except on Sundays when there are rarely new post.

I know... I am an average person... but I'm not.
I know... I am average in knowledge...but I'm not.
I know ... I am a good worker, I put my all into anything I do.
I know... I will be a good employee for someone IF they will give me a chance.
I know... I have pulled my weight at any job I did and contributed in any way I could and I will again.

Today it is all about computers.
Today you have to fill out an application on line, and HOPE someone calls you back.  YES I make calls yes I follow up but no one seems to like that at all?

Funny how we used to walk into a place fill out an application and ask for an interview, if one was granted you had a time and place in mind, you went, you answered more questions and hoped for one more interview.... Today your application sits in a computer never making it to a desk much less getting any type of indication it has been read or even printed out at any point.

If anyone has any ideas on how I am to do this better please let me know... I am afraid technology has surpassed the human touch of getting a job.  At this point any job.

Yes the depression starts to set in.
Yes the knowledge of not contributing to my house starts to set in.
Yes the weight of hardships to come starts to hit home.
Yes it all gets heavier as time goes on...
Yes noise gets in
Yes the static or fog starts to blur my vision of life.
YES... YES....YES...
But life goes on and I have to push forward, keep going, and I will get a job!

Tomorrow I will apply for more positions, I will pull more grass clumps, I will turn over a few more feet of earth for my garden, I will push through all the walls in my way; as I do what needs to be done, I do what I must to work and keep going...

LIFE
Heavy one day, Light the next, but life all the same.
My love to the world...
AegF