Wednesday, August 29, 2012

to be fair.... I made out another check last night...
over $200.00 for Horse Shoes... But normally I have a carbon fiber and clear resin poured into my Vanners front feet as a preventative measure from foundering.  NOT doing this made the shoes about $80 bucks cheaper ... Not to mention the fact that we delayed the shoeing for several weeks saving me some money but it was a medical reason as the Vanner had an abcess in the heal and they take a LONG time to clear out IF they clear out instead of moving into the heal bone....

At any rate... money saved... but well spent as well.  
My horses are my largest expense. 
It is the point of having to be responsible, not cutting on health requirements of anything under your care.  Do what you can... but do what needs to be done!


Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Tuesday 082812 got some food! 

While I am trying to do everything as cheaply as possible I thought you might like to know what I am spending my money on.

a bag of carrots / devided for uses...
a bag of celery / to be used for several things.
a bag of potatoes / lots of things...
10 servings of yogurt
two dozen eggs ... one dozen for Jerry ... one dozen to boil
a small container of sour cream
one whole chicken
7 cans of tuna (on sale... so for storage)
2 servings of salmon on sale... (in freezer)
three boxes of breakfast bars  (on sale or would not have gotten them! in storage)
two cans of cream of mushroom soup (one for storage)
two cans of green chili's  (one for storage)
two bags of cheese... on sale or would have gotten only one.

yes I would have gotten more if I had it in the PLANNED budget.. I'm just trying something new. I'm wanting to spend 50 or less every week.... lets see how this works... documented!

all for less than $50.00 for two.. this week.

no milk... I cook with powdered milk, cheaper in the long run get in bulk, some in cabnet, some in freezer!
I have rice (brown, red or black) (rarely use white)
I keep Dried Red Chili Peppers in containers in the cabnet...
I also keep dried... mushrooms in the freezer to use for lots of things...

I will cook the chicken in the crock pot
de bone it...
set aside part of the white meat (put in freezer) for chicken salad (ONE breast will do)
set aside part of the dark meat (for chicken pot pie) splitting other breast between these two bags..
use the rest of the dark meat for a Mexican casserole ( really its just one huge chicken enchilada)

1 can of tuna (albacore) last us two days... so that is 14 days of lunches... not all at once, but it was on sale and you have to stock up on non perishables when you can.  (i'll stash most of them) using only two for this week.

While Chicken is what I got today... last week I got Hamburger... devided it three ways and had ... meatloaf... (with leftovers frozen... will use in chili later next month! ... we got tired of it! )
Speghetti still in the fridge... so we will not eat chicken every day this week...
and one more pack still in the fridge to do what ever!

I cook on Wednesday and Saturdays... we eat left overs the rest of the time...
my hubby eats ONE egg for breakfast... I may grab an egg for lunch? or a snack.
I use the yogurt for snack, meal, what ever... but more than enough for a week.

I do dried beans of ALL types, pastas (even NG), rice's... rice noodles, etc all in mason jars all the time... but we are talking PENNYS to get these for WEEKS of food... so ... they will be used and replaced- re stocked in the future..

Oh well so what did you spend this week?

Thursday, August 23, 2012

The story of my little scar... from behind my left ear to the right corner of my mouth.  And while it will insist I look older as I age, I could care less because it allowed me to look human in my 30's !   That little scar was the life change I needed, I had made several changes in my life but I was more absorbed by experiencing freedom... instead of living a life I would always enjoy.

I got up in a panic that day! I had over slept from an experience (Jack Daniels, 1st time... last time) the night before (to put it nicely) I was almost late getting my Ridgeback to the Vet for her bi-weekly shot for her hips.  She had gotten hit by a truck previously... We drove the shortcut through to get her to Pleasant View, made it for her appointment and we were driving home.  I NEVER put on a seat belt back then, and I could have cared less about speed limits, but I got off the interstate, slowed down,  as voice in my head told me to put on my seat belt, put the dog in the back seat, and for once I listened! I was driving along thinking this is crazy!  Deepak is always up front with me ... what am I doing?   All of a sudden as I was taking the right hand curve something happened ????? The rear right tire was a blow out!   There was no time to think about it, it was fight the vehicle or take the ditch.  So I decided to take the ditch! In doing so the poor rag top jeep thing... flipped back into the road, rolling down the road a few yards, bouncing my head against the pavement a few times, and finally came to a stop, after taking out a mail box and landing on it's side.  

The dog was screaming! I had to get out, get her, where am I? After crawling out the roof I realized,  she was caught between the roll cage and the pavement through the plastic window.  I pulled her out and she seemed 1/2 way OK.  I then realized I couldn't move my neck; in any direction.  Deepak started walking, looked back at me, I walked over to her, pat her on the head, and she would walk ahead again till I could see her, stop, look back at me, I'd catch up; pat her on the head... and this continued very... slowly till we reached the nearest house.  

The woman that opened the door started screaming! I mean screaming at the top of her lungs! Terrified worse than a theme ride; but not quite a horror movie scream.  She RAN back in the house grabbing a kitchen towel and shoved it in my neck.  I realized I couldn't talk really well, all I knew was I was NOW terrified because of the towel... In my mind I was thinking...  I'm gonna die, not from the wreck but the kitchen towel.  I've got a KITCHEN towel in my neck and bacteria/ CRAP it is going to kill me.. I'll die of an infection!  I put pressure on the towel?  just because I could feel the warmth of fluids at this point.  I was staring to loose my adrenalin so ... I had to think... what next... what next...I was YELLING at myself ( ONLY IN MY MIND)  The woman was screaming uncontrollably into the phone.  Repeating herself  time and time again... I can see... I can see her.... spine ? 

It was NOT my spine it was only my trachea , jaw bone, teeth etc... although I knew I was loosing a lot of blood... I've got to lay down! I started talking best I could to the woman on the she was screaming at  911 and repeating everything to them again and again..  I have to lay down!   I've got to get my feet up, my head down...   I only then realized I could not use my left arm, could not get myself down on the ground with out help.  Can You Help ME?  911 still on the phone!... she finally started talking to me,  I have to get my head down and my feet above my head. why? she asked... I need to get my feet above my head before I go into shock! Please! Are you a nurse? NO I'm not I just need help.  Terrified she didn't want to touch me.  (not that I can blame her!)  Can you call my Mother! I said... of course she was at work? so no answer... Can you call my Aunt ? 

A man came around the corner of the house because of all the screaming!  An old man (thank goodness) because he wasn't as scared to touch me with all the bodily fluids  (blood) all over me.  I finally got down on the sidewalk with his help.  And Deepak (my Rhodesian ridgeback)  immediately sat on my right shoulder and would not move.  He backed off, the woman was on the phone with someone else, and I was just laying there!  Why doesn't this hurt? I never calmed down enough to have pain while in the yard of a stranger.

Time passed, an ambulance arrived... He could not get anywhere near me, Deepak would not move! She would not respond to my Donald duck sounding voice.  I was starting to get worried and he wanted to call the cops to get the dog.  Finally my Aunt Gale drives up!   They start yelling at her to get the dog, she tells Deepak ONCE to get in the car and the issue was quickly resolved.  

We're taking you to Springfield... NO YOUR NOT! I said..  Yes mam, unless you want to go somewhere else.  St Thomas Please... That's too far mam .  He had apparently not noticed the kitchen towel, it had visually meshed into the mess on my neck.  Take that towel out of my neck ( with my Donald duck sounding voice) ... What towel? I pulled it out! and the look on his face was tolerable but I looked over at my aunt walking back to me and LOOK ON MY AUNTS FACE? went pale white... as I thought she was going to pass out or get sick, or DIE...

I started yelling she's going to have a heart attack , take care of her... oh my ... look at her... The other guy tended to Aunt Gale and my guy calmly says... OK, We'll take you to Vanderbilt, this is going to be a level??? ( I don't remember)    OK! That's fine, just no Springfield  ( new hospital was not fully functional at this point)  I was relieved and willing to go anywhere but down the road.

I do not remember the trip to Vandy.  No more than I remember the one when I fell on the sidewalk in Goodlettsville years earlier.  All I remember is asking for a plastic surgeon for my face to limit the scars... one by one 4 doctors come in saying hello, looking at my face and saying NO can't do it!  After 3 hours of test, no pain medications (because my head was blue/ busied all over) MRI facility shut down, finally they were rolling me across that aggregate sidewalk to the semi with the MRI, worrying about all the metal in my body, trying to keep my mind together as my family ? looks at me like I am a monster.  Sisters walking in and walking out with tears, not knowing what to say.  Dad finally cracked a joke that maybe I could get boob implants while there in there!  The whole is deep enough! He could just reach right in there and put it in place ... He's a funny guy! He was just doing EXACTLY what I needed.  I needed something else to focus on. (the open area of the neck was LARGE to put it nicely... the skin contracted up and down and the angle of the cut was from the very side of my neck to the front beyond the middle)  My poor Dad stood there holding my sweat pants.  Jerry? Well he's not so well in hospital situations and we were after all broken up at the time! But he was called last.  When he got to the hospital 1/2 of Joelton was in the ER waiting room... He was not a happy camper, and when he saw me... HE STARTED YELLING at all the nurses to get me help, to find someone who knew what they were doing... Everything my family is not used to! We were joking, ? about my voice, about seeing my teeth with my mouth closed... although I had no control of the left side of my face/mouth/eye  at all. But we were laughing at the fat you could see. ( at that point in my life... I was barely11% body fat... needing to gain fat and hard as a rock! ) I needed people to talk to me to repress the pain I was having.  I need to try to carry a conversation as long as possible.  TILL ...   Finally they got some chief of surgery that was a maxofacial reconstructive surgeon who specialized in facial bone cancer reconstruction, as he was suppose to be leaving for another hospital in another state and he came in, said OH you have a great jaw line, we can put your scar here!  

He and I joked about the music during and after surgery and then he took care of business! 

I came out looking human again!  My sisters stared at me again, but this time in amazement that I looked OK! 
For months those who saw me on the table, were amazed at such a nice job this doctor did.  I too am very happy! 

As it took a while 8 weeks for me to get function of my mouth again, and still I have trouble whistling. It stops working if my face gets too cold.  Out riding in the winter, I tend to lose function of that left side again, but it always come back after I warm up.

After surgery, being able to pick my head up, turn it around again.  Getting out in public was strange.  You start to feel people staring! You wonder what it is they are looking at...Jerry was so sweet, he would tell me people had always looked at me, telling me how pretty I was, and how the looks were no different.  I had never noticed anyone looking at me, I had never felt the weight of the world as I did those months recovering;  feeling like the monster I saw in the reflection, was scaring kids into looking and starring. My face was swollen for a long time! so I looked strange, and I'm sure people were wondering what happen to her?  But the stares were un-nerving and made me change how I see people in wheel chairs or with a special look of any type.  

I normally make a point to go say hello now.  Tell them how cute they are, I like this ... that... Or just look them in the eye and say HELLO! How are you?   I could go on and on but I find it's important to make eye contact like you would with anyone else.  I no longer look, shy away if they look back.  I look, say hello and good bye.

Kids are the only ones that ask how my scar happened.  It doesn't bother me! I tell them it was a car accident and generally they run off to have fun.  I think the parents are more embarrassed, than anyone.

It was Jerry's Grandson Bryson who was the first kid to ask me what happen, after all he did have the perfect view of it tucked under my chin after it all healed.  Only those shorter than I can see it now.  Emma just asked about my scar this last visit... that is what has prompted me to post this, I forget there are questions about the 6 inch scar on my face for those I have met sense . 

I am now back to who I was before the accident! Still wearing my cut off jeans, t shirts and always dirty with horse manure on me somewhere!

I am what I am! I am just VERY lucky my face turned out to look human again!
Yes as I stated above it will cause me to look a little older before my day, as the skin is thinner, and the jowl line is already in a droop but... I am a lucky one, so no complaints..

Besides my idea of beauty has always been the women of the third world countries we have visited that have lines on their face showing how much they have lived and loved life!   I can only hope you see the beauty of REAL life, REAL experiences, and REAL peace on someones face.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Well I only have a minute to post ...but I wanted to make yet another point.  Besides cleaning out my closets, my house, all my belongings... I have narrowed down my food as well. 

A freezer is SO important.  This is the time of year that the frozen berries are as cheap as they will get.  So I  have stocked up on my favorites.  Raspberry... Strawberries... and the even cheaper mixes.  Yes I suppliment my frozen with what little fresh is still out there, but as it is August this is the end of the fresh season which means the frozen ones are just hitting the market.

My breakfast was... almond milk, honey, ginger (fresh only) cinnamon (the REAL thing) a full mango, two bananas and a cup of frozen raspberries.  All thrown into a cheap blender (one of only two electronics in my kitchen) till it is smooth.  DONE! a perfect pick me up inbetween studies...

My study time today is two hours on and thirty minutes off... two on... break... two on... etc... till it is time to go to airport to pick up my love.

back to the books!

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Well... my sweet love took the camera with him so... I have no way of finishing my last post.  Instead I have completely gutted my closet, have it set up perfectly for work clothes only... and am making a list of everything else in my life I can afford to do with out so I can sell it all.

Yes I will gladly post it all here first BUT then I will attach it to my facebook account later... then I will put it on ebay, then craigs list, then a yard sale.  what ever is left will go to the donation center down town.  I'm getting rid of everything I don't use that much...

Yep including a lot of horse things SO... if anyone wants a preview you need to send me a personal message and I'll send you photos first.  Otherwise my plan of attack stands!

Back to my coffee... my studies... waiting for the camera to return!

My love to the world

really nice Bicycle... (would be great Christmas gift... yes still looks new)

Gravely (yep 72 model with ALL attachments.... tiller, mower, bush hog, cycle blade 5 foot RARE, post hole digger. ) the only thing I do not have is the manure spreader.

European Horse gear... Selling one set of road wear for horses... this would be great for a kid who is allowed to ride in the woods alone. (kid... teenager) you know what I mean. Blanket, nose band, leg reflectors, chest plate... etc...

more to come... but if you are looking for something pass me a note.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

So while I am studying I have to have a little of an artistic outlet.  My only outlets now a days are those that will profit me in my future.  I am about to take my closet and post it on line~! 

Yes it sounds crazy but this way I can make a wonderful track of what I am using and what I need to get rid of in no time.

Don't like it? Well I'm sorry but this place is my space to widdle everything down to what I need and what I do not need.

First thing are my shoes!
YEP! While I am better than most (sorry some) women in that I only allow myself to purchase TWO pair of shoes a year and only one in a season and I never work an outfit around a shoe, I always fall in love with the shoe making sure it will work with at least three outfits or I don't get it!
Sound a little extream? Well once again it has paid off... So...

I am not beyond getting rid of some of these if I don't use them on a regular basis... So if you see something I 'm not using... Then make me an offer!

I really like these brown Velvet shoes, but I do not see myself wearing them as much as I would want to in order for them to keep space in my closet!   We shall see as time goes on.
These blood / burgandy shoes are some of my favorites and I am more likely to wear these out before I ever let them sit for too long.  I wear these all year and have an OLD falling apart purse that matches them perfectly... ? but that is another chapter all together.  
NOT for sale.

These I have already had 20 years... I love them, I wear them to special functions or funerals, but most likely not going to be wearing them for work.  but again NOT for sale.

Good basic shoes for Summer, wonderful for pants and some skirts I have had these for over 20 years and enjoy them all the time! In case you haven't noticed... I love red and orange even in a work environment!
I get SO TIRED of BLACK....
Yep another great pair of summer shoes... enjoy these with several of my clothes... too many to name here. But a Favorite all the same.
These are perfect for when no other shoe will work... they are clear but give me a lift! LOVE these too.

Got these when I was 22, I like them but they are straw, so I rarely get to wear them due to all the rain here!   These will likely go up for sale any day now!   So take a good look and send me a PM.

Yep I really like velvet! and these are my perfect pant shoes for anything! not to mention how they can sas up a skirt! I'll be keeping these for a little while longer.
So I have boots... Lots of boots... but I'll not be posting them here at this time so ... I have other photos to make and more shoes to size up before I can finish this post.  Stay tuned! I can only take so many photos, and I can only post so many things between studying and trying to funtion here!

will be back ASAP{

Saturday, August 11, 2012

I am about to get back to my studying, but in order to do so I have got to get a few things off my mind.

I am more worried now about my future than I am today.  I know I am doing what I can to get through my classes... but with all the fire and drought in most of the country; typical people are ill connected with nature here; and few realize that our large agricultural areas not only feed people in the states but truly lots of people world wide as well.   This is going to be a horrible, pricey, and unforgettable winter!   I'm not one that likes an alarmist, but we are there people... not on the way... that was last month when farmers were praying for rain.  Today ... we are eating the last of last years crops and in November prices will go crazy! January if we are REALLY lucky!

Not the mention the regulations now on the oil companies to mix oil with corn? I have never understood that considering this is our only real thought to what happen to the Mayans other than their wanting to kill each other anyway... etc... Meaning corn eventually kills the soil unless done / planted correctly; meaning with some type of legume to replace SOME of what the corn extracts and a type of gourd in order to cover and protect the scared soil from erosion and weeds. 

No I am not a know it all, but the elders in our lives knew what they were doing once they settled.  They had time tested and true resolutions to situations... Corn sucks the life out of the soil! Beans  help to replace the nitrogen losses and use the corn stalk as a pole to grow UP, while pumpkins, squash, and bird / utilitarian gourds cover the ground with a shade that also helps to protect evaporation of water in times of drought!

How many CORPORATE farmers do you know that plant this way?   NONE! their equipment will not allow it!

So not only will the cost of our food go up, but the processing of our fuels will go up IN THE STATES due to our now required additive laws. 

While I am worried about life... I can't stop worrying about how much my food is going to cost this winter!   Yep... The only thing I can do is PLANT NOW... root veggies... carrots, parsnips, turnips, spinach, broccoli, cauliflower, kale etc... if protected it will do me some good with cutting down on the cost of my soups for the winter.

What does this matter? I can only do what I can do in order to save as my "kids" are my animals and I have to worry about how expensive their feed is going to be!  Yep! this is not only going to effect our raw food lines but also our meats!   FEED is mostly corn now a days, even for your dog (which should never eat corn) So my horses are going to have to cut back on their feed because it is going to be so expensive as well.  I only wish I had a way of getting feed, saving it for later.  I do not! I am but ONE WOMAN with no facilities near me for such efforts! Even personally this would require me creating a room that is mouse proof! I know of only one person in this area with such a set up! Smart Man!

In my lifetime we have gone from a 1/4 of the country with social support to over a 1/3... before this drought is over it will be over 1/2 ~   I'm just saying... people are going to have to start doing what they can for themselves with out relying on government support!   Help your self, help your neighbor, help your community, then your county, your state, THEN and only praying at that point our Government will catch on to how important it is for people to be and STAY self reliant so it helps our COUNTRY!

Get off the sofa people! Do something now to help yourself later!
Rant DONE!

OK... now that I have that off my back, I'm hitting the books again.

Friday, August 10, 2012

I have been studying.
Yes Studying to the point my eyes hurt, my head aches, and I'm humped over the desk so much my back hurts.

Yes... I know that means I'm getting old, my eyes need a check up, and I'm a whiner; and I agree I am all these things.. BUT I am doing what I can to make a change of occupations in this economy.

I am studying insurance, as we all need it, and especially in this economy when few of us have pennies to spare, we should plan for the worst and live for the day!

So as I have no money to spend, as I am making no money as I study, I have not had my nails done, instead I have cut them back and painted over them with a clear gloss... Yes some say this is crazy! Some women would never go with out perfect nails.  Truth is my hands look like a mans hand from all the physical work I do around the estate.

So I had a coating put on them... not acrylic, but that LCN stuff.  It works great for me, and it grows out like now ... without having a horrible yellowing effect from the UV like acrylic does.  I have also found the LCN stuff or maybe its LNC???? I cant remember ... stays on better for me and is growing out nicely without having to fill it in so much.

I'll keep filling them back till I have EXTRA money which may mean they will grow completely out before I get to have the stuff put on again.

I know it doesn't sound like much but ... as much as I love having my hands look like a girl it is money I am not willing to spend while I have very little in my savings etc...

What do you do without to make a change?