Saturday, December 21, 2013


Tuesday, October 29, 2013

On the go.

While I am VERY thankful to have a part time job.  I am still in search for that full time job!

While I am not full time employed with insurance benefits. My life is about how much I can save money, and what I can make for us to eat and how to extend it as far as we can.

I am getting  more and more done around the house that I was not able to get done while working at Pirates' Lair, Pet Sitting, and working at the clothing store.

I have a friend that is planning to come in next month some time, so this is making me clean out the guest room that I had turned into my work clothes dressing room.   You have to understand there is very little room to walk around this extra room.  Very very little space.

As I go through my things I am throwing out, donating, and planning a yard sale for as soon as I can.
There is no telling if anything I have is worth anything but... I've got to start getting rid of so much stuff that I do not use on a regular basis.

I figure the store is likely not to need me very often.  Thus the horses will no longer have shoes as of the end of the month!   Cutting my monthly (6week) bills down almost 200 dollars a month.

Wednesday, October 2, 2013


It is the month the trees have or are going to change colors.
Most people think this is the month of Orange, and it is... BUT it is the color of PINK as well.

Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

As I type this I have a family member who has struggled with this for YEARS. 
I have had a breast exam every year after the age of 40 because ...
My mothers sister has breast cancer to this day.
My 2nd cousin had breast cancer. My Grandmothers Brothers eldest daughter.

So both of those are on one side.

My fathers side says little about anything... but my grandmothers sister died of Ovarian Cancer, and the other sister never had children ? due to what they called "female problems" ? I hate when they hide stuff... but many families do.

We all have to remember your history of cancers should go back at least THREE generation.

I hate having my mammogram each year because I have little to no breast so they clamp down on the muscle tissues behind the breast as well.  BUT who cares if like my Aunt .. it was not six months AFTER her mammogram that she was diagnosed with stage 4 .  This is how aggressive this thing can be.  Not always and not most of the time but why take your chances if it is.

I'm not one that preaches pink all year.. I'm not one that shoves it into the internet waves every chance I get, but we may as well all be proactive on preventative.  If not! Why run having to catch up after a diagnosis. 

Life is short don't make yours shorter and more painful out of stupidity!
Done with the rant!

Monday, September 30, 2013

I forgot

I got up this morning and realized I had left all my washing on the clothes line.  So... after doing billing and shipping for my husbands business, going to the barn and taking care of the horses.  I came back to the house to this!
They were WET so they had to stay out the rest of the day till I did my eight hours at work, took care of the horses once again... THEN I got in most of it!  They were already starting to get damp again when I finally got home.  So I left the horse stuff on the line and brought in my clothes, sofa covers and things that I was going to need again in the next few hours. 
I can only hope they dry tomorrow morning as I get to go into the store a little later than today.
Saving money using the cloth line is wonderful! But like everything else that saves money you really have to have a plan and stick to it to make it work perfectly.
I hope your life is a colorful as mine!

Friday, September 20, 2013

Fall approaches.

The sun is trying to peak through the fog.
The house is quiet. The windows open.  The birds chirp in and outside the house.
The only noise are the cars driving by.
A perfect morning.
It is this time of the day I miss my Nannie, Pawpaw & Aunt Gale.
I drink my coffee straight no calories!  But what feeds my soul is how my mind takes me back to a green Formica covered door.  Cornet coffee cups, and one heavy china mug clinking down on the table. The sounds as each are at different full and empty levels.  How instead of each leaving one by one there were hours at that table. We all stayed till there was a finishing point for the day.
While it was not the Cosby show where all was perfect in 30 minutes but its was a source of honest bouncing boards, real caring ears that would listen to anything; very little judgement and a WORLD of support.  Who has that today? Where has it gone?   I can only hope I get do do that for my nieces and nephew.
I live so far away!
I so want to figure this one out but no more bouncing board no more talks, coffee, or that special hand that comes from across the table!
Fall ... fresh colors lots of fog.  Cool breezes, and  having to be my own bouncing board.  I can only figure this is going to be a season of growth for me!   I am having to admit it for fall and I'll have to try to perfect it this winter by myself.  Oh dear I have to be the grown up.  I have to be a helper instead of the one helped. 
Seasons , life roles... it is a change!  It is scary!  But it is what it is! 

Thursday, September 19, 2013

I can't image. While I try, it is SO hard!

I've been almost consumed by family happenings as of late.   All from a great distance (thank goodness)

We all experience death.  We all see it, get hurt, and know it is going to touch us at some point or another.

I have lost all four of my grandparents, although unlike most it was well into my adulthood before any of my grandparents slowed down, acted their age, and finally accepted their circle.
I have lost Aunts, Uncles and distant relatives but NEVER anyone my age or close to it.
I still have both of my parents, as 1 in 10 kids loose a parent before they get out of high school, much less into the mid and late forties like myself and still having both and a relationship with both.
I still have all my first cousins and then some, and I still have both of my siblings.

I can not imagine the loss of a sibling.  I can not image the loss of anyone younger than myself, but this what I am imaging as someone in my family is going to experience this for the first time in my immediate circle. 

Yes my Nannie lost her younger brother, Yes my cousins lost a sibling in their younger years and one has lost her only sister.  THIS is what I can not imagine and it is a true deep abyss to think about the consoling of someone who is about to experience it.

I have TWO sisters.   And while you would think we were all cut of different cloth we are still woven on the same loom with the same back ground and I have that unwritten connection with them.

While one strives for perfection in her life; as much socially as she does on physical things.  While I have no attraction to either.  I would live in the back woods rarely talking to another human and be fine.  I still live with items much like a college student who can't afford anything new or better.  My house is very small compared to most, and my life style is more of being outside and in the dirt than it is about social conversations at the very least.

The other strives for control; as much as any human can.  She strives to do the right thing and to help others do the right thing.  While I personally try to do the right thing, I could care less if it is politically correct.  I wish others did the right thing but I'm not a shepherd.  I can only be what I am and I am only a human!

Don't get me wrong.  I more than enjoy nice things, but they do nothing for me on a daily basis.
I just want to survive in a world that is filled with craziness and things you pray your kids never have to experience.

Oh yea then there is me... I'm the selfish one that knew I would never be able to bring up kids the way I was.  I knew it took a village for me to be 1/2 as level headed as I am and I knew I wanted to experience the world, see things my family had never dreamed of, and to do what ever excited me without the worry of affecting the life of a child for which I would be responsible.  In all truth I NEVER expected to live this long and thought I would be the one struck by lightening and taken out of the book early in life.  And I'm not afraid of it! I've done most of all things I ever wanted to do.  So I live life each day as it could be our last (my hubby and myself) together.  We never know! Some get some warning.  What they do with that is another story!

I would be at the side of each sister in a moment of knowing they needed me.  I would give my life for their children... yes all three... two by one and one by the other.  I have little to no daily connection to any of them.  I suppose I am an embarrassment to one, and the other so busy doing what is right and trying to help everyone else she doesn't ? well think of me or my hubby much any more.

I think of them all the time, as I have chosen a slower lifestyle but they are so busy rarely do we connect when I do call. 

I wish I could hug their kids each morning, share breakfast with their kids, share family stories, share a more simple lifestyle that was shared with me, share the energy of ALL walks of life, how no matter what anyone has or how they choose to live we are all equal humans.  Not a single one of us is any better than the other.

I know.... some religions think good deeds help erase the bad things we do. 
Some people think religion is fine but has no place in business.
Some people live by religion and I like that!   Personally I can't stand any religion that uses fear or points as a way into "heaven"  
All I can tell the world is there is a choice and for EVERY choice there is a consequence. This is fate!
Science! Math! and Life!   All I know if for me... If I do something to hurt someone, it is going to come back on me in some form, and like the "bible" most likely in 10 fold!

I am not one that is going to judge a persons religion, lifestyle, sex, or job.  What I will judge is if they are 1/2 way fair to all those around them, this means those they do not see, serving their every whim etc...  

I believe in a higher power and I believe in family.  I have family I am very separated from due to their choices long long ago.  I have family I choose not to be around due to daily choices still made.  I have family I choose to stay away from due to scars they inflicted on another member or worse multiple members.  I want to hug them, I want to share with them, but doing right is MORE than needed it is expected!

While my sisters may or may not know how much I love them.  I love them dearly! If I had money to give it would be theirs. If I had a room to share it would be theirs. If they need of any basic I am going to make sure they have it.  I love my sisters beyond what they see or imagine, and I can't imagine a world without them no matter what they think. 

My heart bleeds for the family member whom is about to experience the loss of someone younger.  A friend, someone whom that invisible string attaches the hearts together as one, seeing the struggle and it taking your breath. It is amazing how the choice of one physically effects the other, it is not just the heart ache, it is the thought process it effects.  How the pain repaints your world, the colors you see, the flavor you taste, even how you hear words around you.  It is more painful than a chosen family member only in that there really is an invisible string, that some ignore! some try to cut, and others never get to experience except with their child.  The circle of life that must be respected, but the loss is painful, almost debilitating, but society expects us to continue like nothing happened.  (this is where I believe the Jewish faith has a major point ... their rituals of death...I believe it is called Shiva?  how this was dropped from most of society I have no idea)

Ok.. so I have put it all out there!
Call it a letter of reality.
Call it a letter of sympathy.
Call it a love letter to my sisters?

What ever it is ... it is what it is... and it is going to happen.
I'm here!

My love to the world.

Thursday, August 29, 2013

I typed out a lot, actually a page and a half.
I find in my re-reading.. I am too tired to be on the computer.

I will no longer be taking care of extra animals as of Saturday.
I hope to make another post then.

Until I can ...
Until I have the energy...
Until my limbs and core are no longer in such stress or pain.

My love to the world.

Friday, August 16, 2013

Once again I got that phone call that tells me the status of a family member.  While this member is barely older than I am, this member is in the winter season of life.  Having said that these calls have me thinking deeper and deeper in thought about the prep of the investable outcome.    All my black is hanging in a carry bag in my closet. 

Of all the things rushing through my mind!  Disturbing in the fact that I can't be relaxed and be myself with my own things IF I want to come home with them?    IT is SOoooo sad that I have to think things through.  While I am not totally attached to my material things, it is just SO SAD that I can't be relaxed about what I take with me. Sadly I will take my backpack instead of a purse; the backpack has no resale value.  My purses could be sold easily on line, or a pawn shop; only because my purses where saved up for and planned for at least a year before I purchased any of them. 

I can only say THIS way of thinking is exactly why I choose to cut back on my material things, hopefully get into a smaller house etc... I do not want to be a part of this type of a world.  I want a world I can trust and not think twice about.

While in reality this is not going to happen

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Well... lets see?

I am still in a brace but trying to come out of it. Thanks to LOTS of physical therapy and much acupuncture.    Using both has been the most progress I have made in a long time.

Pain is still there but trying to work through it. 
Heat still comes
Swelling is still a daily issue.
There is nothing going away I am simply trying to work through it to meet the goal of getting a replacement. 

I am however getting back on my one horse as he is not as sensitive as my sweet pleasing mare.  Navarre is allowing me to ride although he is bent and confused he is doing all he can to deal with my metal up against his ribs.

Life today is strange.
58 degrees in the early morning and about to go for that strange, walking sideways ride on my little fat boy.

I'll write more  later as I am off the next few days.

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Making big changes got PUT ON HOLD...
I am sorry! it is not that I mean to leave anyone hanging...

I have a mobility issue.  My knee stopped working...
I wanted to do blogging for my town but with out the knee I couldn't travel, do interviews, much less keep everything in my life going the way it needed to.

In making big changes I had just enough money to take care of the hay for the year.  SO I purchased three first cuttings and got over 400 bails of hay for the year.  With all the rain one day in June it did not rain... we are one our second day in July with no rain and enjoying the count! ... but with all the rain although the hay never got wet it  absorbed moisture from the air thus it is all molded.

My feed also!

So I've lost my years investment... having gotten it cheaper right out of the pasture... and now I am in the hole!

BUT windows at the house have been open, and the electricity was only just over 100 dollars instead of the average 400 we have in this old house.

I will do my best to keep one post a week... but I am merely getting back to normal, with the leg with a brace on it, the horses are demanding in all this mud, and I am working a part time job I really enjoy 4 to 5 days a week.  So there is not as much free time in my life.. BUT I will try better to keep in touch ... once a week.  no guarantee of what day!

My love to the world...

Monday, April 29, 2013

First BIG step.

I grew up in a small town.
Everyone knew who I was, or who my mother was, or at the very least who my grandparents were, thus there was nothing I could do of any negative consequence and punishment not be awaiting me at the door as I entered home. BUT ... that also meant I had access to a huge network, generations of knowledge and advice to choose from. While I am not of the baby boomer generation I grew up in that environment.

I have lived from coast to coast... San Fran, Suisun CA now in Asheville NC so I have extended my life beyond that small town thinking.  I have a passion for travel, learning and art,  my issue with a job, and finding my place here is I always worked and had friends at least from work creating a group of people to learn and extend from.  Here I have not worked outside of motorcycle industry much and have yet to really make my own niche SO... I just took on a part time job at the clothing store, AND I just took on an Asheville Blog Column so I hope to start my networking here at these two places.

What am I doing for the Blog?
Well IF all goes well I plan to evaluate and expose art around town.  I'll not go into anymore details here BUT once the site is up and running I will gladly make that attachment and share with all my friends and family.

SO... my networking project has started!
My next step... is to volunteer at places around town to meet more people with the same interest as well.  We as humans have to remember we only get what we give.  While I have no full time job I plan on giving my time for the remainder of time not spent working for someone else.

Life is going to get better!
Life is full of fun, fancy, follies... grab some it

My love to the world

Sunday, April 28, 2013

Got a job...

I actually got a part time job Wednesday of last week and I start this next Wednesday at noon.

I am so excited...
Yes it is part time but... it is something to have to concentrate on... to feed my horses.. and to get me back into the swing of being on someone else's schedule...

It is a GREAT little clothing shop.
Locally owned, operated
Mostly US made clothes... not all but they really try... (Which I LOVE)
I can not wait to get into this company and start to be a part of their loyal employee family.

I can not wait.
As with any store they want you to wear their clothes ...
I like their clothes so this will be a joy!

To have a little money in my account
To be able to feed my horses...
To be able to do a few things on the estate will be WONDERFUL once again.

I can not wait.

Yesterday ... my mother and step-father came to visit.
It was so nice having someone come so close... (Gatlinburg) call ... I offered to make the short drive... but they were sweet enough to want to make the rest of the drive to me.  It was so nice to have them around again.  I've lived here 10 years (I can't believe it) and Mother has been here three times and Bill twice.  I normally make the drive "home" to them

It was so nice being able to relax in my house and visit with them.

My love to the world...

Saturday, April 27, 2013

I am expecting guest...

Yes if I do not erase this, add to it, or re-do it all together it means my out of state guest have arrived and I am estaticly enjoying thier company.

I can only hope you too enjoy time with your friends, family and loved ones when you can....


Tuesday, April 23, 2013


Our forefathers (of the US) were some of the most brilliant men but forgotten also some of the most brutal. 

We as a country have made incredibly horrific acts that should never be repeated.  Acts that other countries carry out today and we do nothing about. Yes we are a part of the world watch groups but still very little is done...Our horrifying acts were never rectified in our own country.  How can we understand, help, or even assist another country with their demons, so many ask...  when in fact we should be stopping the act from repeating?  Crimes against women, the killing of entire villages, and the systematic downsizing of an entire way of people, culture or life. 

But now ... in a time that Foreign affairs have crossed that invisible border through air space, through this machine, by the Internet we do little as CITIZENS to keep it out.  Our boarders have been crossed!    The HATE of others flows freely over the internet.  The hate of a way of life, a green envy of physical items, advantages, and the way most do not even appreciate what they have but try to appear more than they are.  It grows ... Sadly enough it grows in our own homes... brother and sisters competing to be the best, have the most, be the most popular.  Adults, Parents are suppose to be teaching, directing and raising children to think of it differently but children see it in their parents too.  It grows in our towns by neighbors wanting a bigger house than the other, wanting the newer TV, car, or even that hot tub.  It grows in our cities, states even continents.  It never stops the greed in our House, Congress and even White House has little to do with anyone but them selves.  They vote on their own pay benefits even pay raises there are many things wrong here. 

I have to concentrate on my home and my town... I am not ready to take on any more than that.  I mesh/ believe, want to live closer to mother earth.  I want to be able to take care of me then my neighbors, then my town.  I want to be a positive movement as much as others feed on the hate.  Life is short and I want to live mine in the positive even when it is raining!

I enjoy my "brothers and sisters" of humanity.
I desperately want to think the best of all humans
BUT I knowingly keep an eye for grey and dark thoughts of those around me.

I laugh... but I am also serious, that I keep an eye out for my neighbors.  I may hassle them with calls, questions, or even notes... but I watch what is going on, I watch the strange car or person at their mailboxes, the truck that turned around in their drive 4 times in the past two weeks.  The girls that cut through getting to the houses behind us.  BUT if something happened I have made a mental note of it.  I have done my part to assist in whatever the police may need for later.

I know sounds like a busy body neighbor and in one aspect I am.  I have to own that.  But in another aspect we should all watch out for each other.  Do you turn a blind eye?  Do you notice the person walking by your house deliberately looking the other way?  Do you notice the person with their belongings on their back? I mean the person not their pack, their tattered clothes? 

If someone were at your house wouldn't you want to know, wouldn't you want someone watching for that time before your fancy alarm goes off?  The alarm is not going to describe the person is it? While it is going to have their clothes if it has video abilities but is it going to notice that face before it is covered? etc...

Do everything you can for yourself, do what you can for your neighbor, do what you can for your town and together we can all keep this country safe, clean, and bring back the like of each other instead of the negatives. 

We ALL have to do our part.
my love to the world

Monday, April 22, 2013

A needed walk.

While I get to go to the estate, hear the birds, watch the squirrels and groundhogs, yesterday was so perfect and inspiring.

A girlfriend called and I jumped at the chance to spend time with her.  She showed me some walking paths on the mountain I had never explored.  With my leg as bad as it is right now I dare not chance walking alone in the woods in case it blows out and no one can find me.... or no cell signal etc... Safety first people.

At any rate with so ....... many things coming out... the valley below a beautiful green but the trees at point not yet leafed out the view was spectacular! It was a view my dear phone will never be able to catch.  It is a view few get to see! I would never be able to paint! and the fast pace of life blurs to those in a car.

It helped me to relax.
It invigorated my body instead of creating agonizing pain as I had anticipated for today.

I am encouraged to do this more often.
I am encouraged to do more nature for me....

Tomorrow ... the camera and I are going for a hike.
It is a trail used by many on the mountain. In fact I found a neighbors phone next to the creek, It was exactly like mine so... I pulled his favorites, scrolled to his wife and gave her a call on his phone.  We met him at the apple orchard, played with his lovely dogs, and gave him back his phone.

Life is good and only getting better as this energy keeps me active today.

sharing my new found energy with all.

Sunday, April 21, 2013

SO cold outside.

It's late April and 36 degrees outside. 

The heat is off, the house is cold, my body layered with clothes I had hoped to have packed for the season.

My heirloom tomato plants are safe in the house, the blooms are amazing and I long for the day I can put them in the ground and not worry of them twice a day.  My aloe plant, some other arid plant my daddy gave me.... all safe... next to the kitchen sink awaiting to get back out in the sun as soon as possible.

Water boils on the stove for my second pot of coffee. 
Tea all but gone from the night before.
Oh these are my warmth for this chilled morning.

Yes only 6am but the drier runs down in the basement, the washer on it's third load of the day.  Much has been read this morning.  As well as facebook attacked!   As so many despise the public forum; I on the other hand use it as a encyclopedia of ideas and information.... typing in green, plants, garden, grow etc... and watching several other organized pages appear.  I follow them to web sites, I see what other sites are mentioned etc... I find it as open and useful as that old encyclopedia set in the corner of my Nanny and Paw Paw's house on a rainy day.

But again we all see life differently, we all use media for different reasons; really it is no different than the glass being half full or empty.

AHhhh well... back to the real work... cleaning closets and the gust room.

I am after all getting all my little things together to get rid of them. 
1. We all need to get rid of things we no longer use.
2. My house is small and life gets all too cluttered long before we notice, so it is a good thing to just knock it out once or twice a year.
3. My neighbor plans on doing a yard sale.... I've wanted to but my drive would cause more accidents than it would bring money.  So her drive being so much safer makes life all the better for a little money to be made from things no longer needed to me.

  • My bike. ...
  • My Antique Bird Cage...
  • My collected set of Craven Porcelain ( I hate to get rid of it but hard times call for good measure)
  • A foot stool we no longer use.
  • An old side table we no longer have room for.
  • Books... so many books.... Yes I've given many to the library but they do the same... keep what they do not have and sale the rest.  At this point I need the dimes they would make so... I'll sell myself.
These are all just a few of the things I have come across the last two days. 
I am sure there is more to come....

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

What to learn from Terror.

I went on with my day yesterday, I did what was on my to do list, but this morning my mind turns at a better pace as yesterday I was just angry.

Today I am thankful.  ? For What you ask!

Well my hat is off to my parents actually.  While every parent does the best they can, when they can and how they can, I was fortunate mine were planners, not preppers ( a popular new phrase) But real planners.

My parents had a pass word.
My parents had a fire escape plan (and went over it with us)
My parents had a meeting point out in public.

Yesterday as soon as the Boston Explosion happened the first thing done is turn off all cell signals.  So if someone was using a phone to trigger their bombs.   So in an age where we depend on phones we don't know simple phone numbers anymore a meeting place and time when out in public is now going to be necessary.

For years our family entertainment was Opryland Family Season Passes.  We all went our separate way and had a place and time to meet up.  NOW families need to do the same BUT also have a back up plan!

? What if you were going to meet at the finish line yesterday? Oh call me you'd say!  NO... Meet your love one at ... The corner of... blank................and ...........blank......... If something like this happened where will your back up plan be? Making your next destination more towards your car / your bus hub/  or your train stop.    It may take you hours ... but the younger the person the less they move.  SO if it is a CHILD under 12 they stand still and you have to find them... BUT they stand still at a certain place, certain area, and know not to go anywhere with a stranger, OR EVEN a family member WITHOUT the CODE WORD.... why... ? well because kids do disappear and get hurt from family members more so than strangers.  Sound strange? Well you need to look up the facts in your area not take info from a stranger like me!

No one likes to talk about these things but we are in an age where BASICS are going to have to be put back in place.  Learning from a horrible experience is exactly what we all need to do.

Please ... have a password with your kids.  For that someone picking them up from school.  For that someone getting them in the event of an emergency (you having a car wreck) Sounds crazy but the ONLY people I was allowed to go with EVER without a password were my Nanny and PawPaw no one else, not Aunt Gale, not Aunt Sheri no one!

Please make a fire escape plan with your kids.  if there is smoke coming in under your door, the knob is hot... do not open the door... open your window and climb out here, meet me at the maple tree in the front yard (and show them EXACTLY what tree you are talking about.) 
Do you have a fire ladder in your kids room? if you don't , they are not expensive and are easy to install INSIDE their room.

Sounds crazy but we all need to practice meeting up at a certain place at a certain time so IF and WHEN an emergency happens it is not alarming in itself to our children.  They need to know how this works, they need to affirm where and when before you split up.  You can not depend on a phone in any type of an emergency. 
In a car accident it could be gone, much less beet up and no longer working.
In a situation like the bombing authorities may need to stop any and all communications in order to save more lives.  That's not to say you can't use it IF you can but when practicing with your family we need to not allow the usage.

Please just think about what I am saying!
Please make plans and games with your kids so they learn not to depend on the phone! This is very important.

It was social media yesterday that assisted people because it used wifi or on line instead of basic phone systems. 

Monday, April 15, 2013

oh it hurts.

I started the day with the horses...
I then worked onto the Billing and Shipping for Pirates' Lair Motorcycle Accessories
Got a few things taken care of
Printed out 30 resumes' and decided to go down town to hand them out... try to do a face to face for the job thing...
I gave out several and got several business card to call on... or call back I should say.
No one was hiring but ... who knows about tomorrow.

I then got supplies to wrasp the horses feet.
So I called Bill and he made sure I was 1/2 way safe while I filed away the horses toes...
Yes I did my best to keep it all balanced but I suck to put it nicely.  I would not have paid anyone to do the job I did... BUT I got better at it with each foot and thus I intend to get all the better as time goes on.  Saving me on average a minimum of  3,720.00  a year on a farrier bill.  So if I get it down I'll be happy but as of this moment I am in so much pain.... OMG>>>. I can hardly move! It is a good thing our fridge went out thus all my drug reserves from the past are gone with it... Because I would take about anything at this point to be able to move... or just get comfortable enough to sleep...

But tizz life...
Trying to do my best to cut back on any amount of money I have to spend... if I can do it I will... as of right now the jury is still out.  I had to have help and the pain is unreal!

I'll see next time?
In the mean time... My love to the world.

little by little.

Yesterday was a good day.
I came up with an idea for myself and have a plan for applying for local jobs today.

I started cleaning a little more above the barn and found wild raspberry and blackberry bushes; which of course made it harder to clean the area but protecting them and not having to purchase a food bush it all the better.  Not to mention the wild things tend to really well around her so I'm all excited.

Navarre was seriously disturbed this weekend by the locals shooting off their guns, but on the good side it made him run around and get exercise in the process. He is however getting really upset with not being able to eat any grass, and it is so hard for me not to give it to him.  Grass is the most natural thing to a horse an my little boy doesn't get it.

He does however scavenge around the fence to get as much as he can! I don't do anything about it... I just let it be what it is until he gets worse and can't have even that much.

Sweet Pea was all upset yesterday with little energy? Not sure what that was about but I'll keep an eye on her today.

Oh well...

Many places to go...
Many resumes to print out...
Out into the rain today....

I'd rather be weeding the hill above the barn!

My love to the world

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Horse Helmets and Polo Wraps.

With what little I got done yesterday I was very grateful for help from my hubby today!
With this help I enjoy knowing my 16 foot gate is finally back where it belongs and expected to stay this time.

As news predicted a storm headed this way and its aggressions to everyone west of us I started preparing things for the worst yesterday.

So horse helmets and polo leg wraps are at the barn... along with new / fresh supplies in the horse emergency kit.   NO I do not expect to use them but one must be prepared for the worst.  The weather alert is on and if need be I'll rush to the barn to wrap the kids...

All my plants will appreciate this expected flash flood, although I do hope the hail doesn't do much damage to them.  My strawberries are full of blooms as are the apple trees and tiny little peach tree.  I have not checked on the pear,  cherry, or plum... much less the almond tree.

Maybe after this flash flood I can burn down the garden area a little better.

I hope to have a job soon!
Although knowing I am getting a little more accomplished each day at the barn is a welcoming comfort when little else goes easily my way.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

ONE pissed off WOMAN

I had a list of things to do today. 

I got up early, put all my ducks in a row, made sure I had as much done as I could...
I had called to have the "rented" hay barn open.
I had called and reserved two men who wanted to do some farm work... I specifically said hay and mulch.

I got my resume sent out
I got all my applications filled and done
I did all the shipping etc for pirates' lair
got all the lunch supplies in the truck plus 6 drinks, and candy bars for energy.
I was leaving the house by 8 to go get the guys and get to work.

Got there one couldn't make it but was replaced by another guy.
Worker A and Worker B
Immediately worker A starts dogging the guys at the VA that have an organic garden.  BLAH BLAH BLAH.... I tried to blow it off.  We all do things differently and I am the FIRST to be VERY opinionated.   But even after my telling him we all do gardens different, his way was the only way not once, not twice.... it didn't stop. Then the conversation got worse. Then the conversation went into OFF the WALL theories of what is wrong with this country.  And trust me I think a lot of things are wrong...

I asked them not to smoke near the barn! Worker A did... I asked him not to #1... I looked at him nasty #2 .....and I went OFF #3. With me with anything... three strikes your OUT...  It's my barn and he was not 20 feet away from open hay with the wind/ breeze that was blowing towards my barn that was not 15 feet away!  THAT WAS THE STRAW that broke the camels back.  I flew off on the guy!  

I had to take them both back not getting to finish 1/2 of what I wanted to.  Worker A worked not 1/3 of Worker B .... ? With my bad back, with my arm messed up, I had to pick up the slack that was not getting done but I was paying for.

Here I am trying to do my own part, support myself off my property and this guy wants to tell me what I'm doing wrong!   What is right for me is not wright for others.... What works on my land may not work well a mile down the road.  What I choose to eat, plant and preserve in some form or another may not work for anyone else....

So lets just put the Internet straight!   I do what ever I can to support myself.  I do what ever I can to not purchase or vote for things or people that I do not agree with in their descriptions/ campaigns.  I choose not to make the same mistake twice when it comes to politics and their lies. 

I Believe that no one in the service of the country should ever make more than the AVERAGE WAGE of the average citizen.  If you are in politics for money I want you OUT it was intended to be a SERVICE not a LIFESTYLE!  I believe that NOT the congress, nor the house should EVER have the right to control their own salary.  I believe it should be a given calculation based on US average wages.  Thus... like today when so many are out of a job and so many are being cut in hours their pay would go DOWN.  I believe if the country prospers and is run in the black/green like any other industry then it can be voted on by the citizens IF they may get a 2% raise for that ONE term.  I believe there should be TERM limits from the white house down to every seat held.

I agree that the ONLY people in the service of the country that should make more than the average wage is ANY and ALL of those that are on the front lines in an active war site.  I believe any human or animal given time in a war should have life benefits.  I like the 20 year for full if only in active duty (being different that war time)

I believe in welfare! BUT I believe if one generation gets it the next can not,  so it can not become a lifestyle.  I believe it can only be used to help a person RISE to a new level not stay in their comfort level or situation.  We all have to grow, if you are not willing to grow then you are not my problem.

I believe in Medicaid.  BUT I believe in re-training...  and I believe too many take advantage of the system having learned from the generation before. 

I believe in closed boarders.
I believe we should allow more people in Legally.  But they should pay taxes from day one, no medical, no food stamps, and we should not pay for their incarceration.

Which brings me to an even larger issue... How did TV, Computers, A/C and so much more become a part of the basics.  Food, Clothing, Shelter.... They (prisoners) should have to work to pay for their own expenses.  Why do they have more than me? Why are their comforts a given right? They forfeited their rights when they broke the law!  Why should they have no responsibility and then somehow fit into society if they get out? This makes no sense to me....

Ok... so today was one of my worst days in a LONG time. 
I understand if you do not agree with me.
I understand and respect if you have your own ideas.
BUT don't ever think YOU or ANYONE ELSE has the right to come on my property and preach to me about what I am doing wrong.  When I am doing all I can.

Suggestions yes! But scolding me for mulching! for cleaning my water troft, and only having two drinks per person for the first few hours ( while it is still cool ).... ONE PISSED OFF WOMAN!

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Old two wheel gravely.

I know I am a little slow when it comes to electronics THUS I enjoy OLD machines.
Things that are so easy to work on everything you would ever need could be put in a tool belt and be fully supplied for life.

I was shown grace by my father when he offered me his old gravely years ago after Jerry and I purchased the tiny six acres I call our estate.  Sense then my old machine has worked NOT worked, worked and NOT worked more than anything else.  It is the gas! It is the fact that I have to rebuild the carburetor each time I go to start it.  What ever... but I can not afford a tractor, and the tiny tractors I may be able to finance will do little to nothing compared to this old two wheel gravely I have.

Dad had an old 68... I now have an old 76... BUT I have all his accessories, the only thing I do not have is a manure spreader which would be nice but not necessary.

As each year when by my frustrations grow with this machine... it is a love hate relationship.  When it runs I love it! When it gives me trouble, makes me take everything apart a hundred times I get pissy about it.   BUT ... it is a life saver with six tiny acres and no one else but me.

YES at times I get some guys to help me... but they know nothing about the property, the machine, what I dream of and are not ? well lets say... the most experienced with either property or machines.  And one that is; is always wanting to rebuild a part of my machine I do not want him to touch.  It is OLD it uses packing grease NOT oil.  Even old parts I have rebuilt, or had to repurchase after an accident the "man who knew it all" had it full of oil... I am so glad I opened it up before I attached it!

So I had been trying to find a part the guys lost taking the machine apart when I wasn't around.  Even had a metal detector guy come out to try to find it.  No luck.

So I had looked and looked on line.  No part.  NO I do NOT know the name of it.... That is most of my problem.  I went through parts sites, I went through every book I could find.  But somehow Jerry got up tight about helping me... we didn't see eye to eye... (what's new) The only thing I had not done is to call every phone number on line I could find about the old thing... So today I started calling everyone.  Most of the numbers were disconnected one told me I was crazy, I had no idea what I needed... Then I found a guy named Roger who understood when I explained all the attachments are the same sizes and it was connector or adaptor thing I was looking for.  

He asked me a few questions, he asked for a few pictures.  and didn't think I was crazy!

I sent him three emails with photos...
and I can't wait for him to call me back with a part name, # or better yet a PRICE! and shipping quote.

Oh well a woman waiting by the phone.

Monday, April 8, 2013

its killing me.

my arms kept me awake last night.
my hands and wrist are swollen this morning.
my legs ache
and my back is killing me....

Whats the problem?
OH just all the work I did Saturday and Sunday.  I never stopped.  I enjoyed being out in the sun.  I took a book and my glasses but never stopped long enough to break open the book, much less sit and relax.  It was just too perfect of a day to not be doing something in the dirt.

While it doesn't sound like much I cleared a small section above the barn that was engrossed with multi flora rose ... this stuff is NASTY... completely destroyed a pair of my good leather gloves, I will have to replace these as soon as I can.

It feels good to see the ground under some of the large trees.  I did leave some of the native herbs, violets, and another ground cover that is not poisonous.   These are all good to protect the bare soil until I figure out what I want to do...

Life is good my little beds of cold crops are doing wonderfully, which is my personal concern so I have food till the hot weather foods can be put in and produce... Which is basically not until the last of the summer and fall.  SO...

My tomato plants in the house are doing ok... I brought home some potting soil to put them in larger pots at some point this week.  Life is good and things are going as they should...

Sunday, April 7, 2013

got a lot done.

I got so much done yesterday ... I feel good about it.

I did get the six raspberry plants in the ground, although one was damaged... I did my best to revive it but only time will tell.

I got most of my small chores done at the barn and the next few days will allow me to get into more detail of them all.

I am hoping not to forget the scissors for Navarre today but... I'm likely to forget once again.

Today I hope to focus on cutting brier bushes from around the front of the barn.  I have no more money to get edible plants for the year so bushes and trees will just have to wait.

Mulch is my next issue.  ?
Keeping all my cold crops healthy with water is a large issue this week as the temperature rises and not leaves are in to protect them in the heat of the day yet.  Next chance of rain is not until Friday... at this point.

So I need to get in my hay before the rain comes in.
I need to keep all the bushes I just planted watered and all the cold crops at the barn and around the house.

As I type the plants not in the ground are soaking in the kitchen sink... but what I didn't get done yesterday I will get finished today at lunch by the latest hour. 

Taking a book and glasses to the barn to relax in the sun in between my cutting briers...

My love to the world...

Saturday, April 6, 2013

Finally a beautiful day!

Actually I put my details on my other blog today.... my horse/ barn blog
Step by step what my plan is posted in the above blog.

But as I type this blog one bird on the computer screen...begging for attention. One bird still on the wing back, the other... has flown back to her room enjoying peace before I take the others back in and they start screaming at each other for the morning.  I enjoy their rattle! I enjoy even more one (Lolitta) telling the others to stop screaming! or Stop It! and yelling their names Maya... Teallie... until they do.

(yes I spell their names weird.... but who cares it is not like they want a cup, key chain, or room plaque with their names!!!! ha  ha ha...)
Life with parrots is wonderful they have SO much personality!

Oh well...
My day starts.. please refer to my other blog for the days details... copy or cut and paste will not work in this situation as on this blog the words would appear white and unreadable.... and the program doesn't work well with my document program on this lap top.

Life is good
and getting all the better ...

BUT today is a day about SUN, Labor, and getting horses, bushes, and food settled for the week.

My love to the world.

Friday, April 5, 2013

Life in a panic

Last night, after such a rough day for the horses my caretaker instincts took over and my worry button turned into a panic attack. 

I went to bed last night at my normal time (always early) but I was back up and wide awake by 11:30pm so I took an over the counter sleep aid.  With all the panic it never kicked in.  I was back up by 1am re-doing my resume, playing with new cover letters constructions.  I think I finally fell asleep about 5am my normal UP time.

What triggered all this?
The cold, the fact that if the horses got SERIOUSLY sick I would not have the 12 to 15 thousand dollars for surgery.  It all just started adding up it was a crap ball that rolled down hill picking up speed and collecting more issues as it rolled faster and faster in my mind.

My eye lids are heavy this morning, my body aches, although still on my first pot of coffee life is going to be slow today.

  • I have applied to more jobs on line this morning.
  • I have an electronic transfer of funds to confirm to the Netherlands today.
  • I have plants that need to get in the ground at the house.
  • AND I am going to call a friend that said he would help me with my resume and cover letters and get a new grounding for the next week.

As far as the horses...
  • I need to get worming paste! And may as well make the trip pay for itself by getting feed in the same time.
  • I need to talk to a hay guy about possibly purchasing hay and keeping it in his barn for the year if possible!  
  • I need to call the vet again as I have a list of farriers but no phone numbers.
  • I am going to go to the barn of a friend and see if I can't take the horses there for a simple trim until I can find a farrier I love and trust with my "kids" (horses)
The day is going to be beautiful regardless of what ever the weather does.
I am better today, for taking the time to listen to my body last night, make a list that will ease my fears, and setting forth a plan to make sure it does not happen again.

Wow... no it's after noon and I have at least gotten my shipping, billing,and paperwork done.  I have also completed the transfer.  I have checked on the horses, gotten them their hot mash for the morning. Checked over them well enough.  Went to see that friend and he agreed not only to help me with my situation but to show me some starter work on keeping the horses toes trimmed.  Got the kitchen straight again, and just now sitting down for my breakfast... yes... after noon but I eat small meals and I'll eat again in a few hours.  I'll call ups in a moment, I'll call the vet yet again , I'll call the hay guy last. 

The sun is out... and I am about to go get the worm paste, horse feed, and I supose I'll pick up some more garden soil for the raised beds. 

I'll wait for the rain to evaporate for a few days before I bucket up some well composted manure for the raised beds and the garden ground area.  LIFE doesn't wait... but does allow one like me to at least plan a little...

Laughs all around.

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Yep it's April and I'm all bundled up in insulated overalls good hiking boots I use for the barn and plenty of layers to even sit in my own home.  I even had to put the boot driers back in...

The ice has finally melted but the horses have suffered so I gave them an extra feeding today, extra oil and extra hay.  A horse can only do so much once they are wet through and through in such cold...

It is 7:30 as I type this and a mere 37 degrees not what I expected for the day, never reached the high predicted of 42.  It has been gray all day!

BUT all those plants I put in the ground are wet and happy! I think they will be just fine and be all the more sweet for such a struggle today!

I can not wait for the weather to be more of a norm.
I can't wait for mild spring days where I am not so worried about my horses.

I have several plants on my kitchen table that need to be planted.

Asian Cabbage
purple kohlrabi
and three of everything I planted at the barn as well.

I also have black tomatoes .... Cherokee and German... ( they are on the table for a while) I only got them because they were cheap plants AND around here when you can plant them all the heirlooms are GONE!   Go I will have to put these in pots and transplant them yet again AFTER MOTHERS DAY for my area!   Yep!

The Frost date for where I am is normally after Mothers Day! So just one more plant to pamper along with my lemon grass left over from last year and my canalilys I use in the water pond.

I tried saving as many plants as I could in the birds room but... there was not enough light for most of them to survive so.... I will need more BIO plants to clean my water once again AFTER the frost date... just one more thing to have to save for!

What is my plan for tomorrow?

Dig 6 holes for Raspberries... I only today figured out where I wanted to put them.  My original plan was put off for a year due to the guys I had helping me set up the raised beds I was going to put them in.   BUT all the better for yet other berries I will get next year!   Onward we move!   Food is my main goal!

WHAT the Heck?

It is April...
I do live in the South, Right?
It is freezing here! yep sleet bounces off the windows,  High is 45 for the day! and back into the freezing temperatures tonight. 

I'm in a panic trying to get HOT mash to my horses... but it has to sit, absorb all the water... THEN I pour more boiling water over it once again just to make sure AND to have it perfectly HOT when I pour it out in this fridgid cold.

I have the blankets in the drier! Not to dry them but to heat them up so I can wrap them in a blanket and put them on the kids nice and warm.

I am also hoping my poor plants are going to survive this freezing weather! 
Yesterday as I brushed Navarre each time I cleaned my brushes I put the hair around my plants... they were watered well as of last night and mulched only directly under each plant.  I had planned to expand the mulch as the horses loose more hair each day.  BUT I will NOT be brushing my horses today thus NOT mulching the plants today.

Oh how this day has started in a panic... Panic for my cold horses and slight worry for my plants as they will be my food.  GOOD thing is... if they survive they will be all the sweeter for this cold cold spurt of air.... YES!

lettuce heads
and standard cabbage... all in the ground right now!

Monday, April 1, 2013

new plantings

Well I got to work in the dirt today.
As Lilly was brushing Navarre, Sweet Pea was out to pasture so not to distract him.  We also tried something new tying him to a place where he is not allowed to eat and his hair would not get into his hay.

We have had so much rain as of late my water container over flows but is still sure to go dry if we have a dry summer. I desperately need to figure out the next water container.  But again that will require a job in order to purchase parts I will need.

Aside of purchasing a water container I could start digging the ditch of which the next under ground piping would go.  But that would also require me less time on the net applying for jobs.  What little time I spend here is mostly a copy and paste situation where I can write up things off line and then post again once I get a connection, so not to waste wireless time.

Today I dug holes...
Got two hosta dry roots planted
three hucera dry roots planted and have several more things to go.  It looks like a very strange arrangement from the ground BUT I wanted to make sure nothing was blocked when viewing from the deck...  So very messy looking planting that I hope to fill in as time progresses, plants mature and multiply, eventually filling in the entire little area. Leaving me a place with low maintenance in the end... Wish me luck!!!!!

Shade plants are something I have never had to research until we got this little lot.  Growing up one only worried about food and full sun.  Other than the Lily of the Valley that Aunt Mary had, that mother put under the deck, that is now probably mowed over by the new owner not paying attention to such a fragrant, lovely, small reward as the fragile lily of the valley I treasure so much.

I had a friend in St Louis, that I rarely hear from these days.  She is chic I am country. She is smart I am simple. She is an amazing woman and I miss talking to her.... but alas communication is a two way street.  SHE had amazing knowledge of shade plants, I wish I had her brain to pick.

Sunday, March 31, 2013


I planted Asparagus years ago.
I've let it go for three years now... this year I get to eat from it! yea

Normally these are the first foods to pop up come spring... but not mine... not a sign as of yet.

But I did actually get it all weeded out, got the red honeysuckle trimmed and under control, not to forget the rose bushes all pruned back into a topiary shape and got all the suckers cut off around the base.

I got a lot done, but just can't wait for all the food to start coming in and allowing me to eat good and cheap. 

The trees are bursting and look like they will need even more trimming. 

So my plan tomorrow is to cut out the Winter Jasmine from the road / drive way area and move it up the mountain so I can train it to flow down the hill like flowing water. So I can work my Asian garden around it; the witch hazel tree; and the boulders up the hill. 

Saturday, March 30, 2013

Pictures and Reading.

I was one of those kids, out of sorts.  The boys all said I was ugly, too much of a tomboy and while I loved taking things apart and putting them back together.  I was never a good reader.

My mother read to me every chance she got... with twin sisters it was as they were asleep, books she wanted to share with me, books my elders purchased for me.  There were ALWAYS trips into Nashville... almost an hour away in those days (no interstate yet) to the public library to inspire, tease me into reading more.  I hated reading!

I hated it even more as it was expected in school, especially as each child was compared to Betsy... (not my sister) but some little girl who could read perfectly, no stuttering, no time delay and with the ability to paint a picture in my head.  I wanted to read like that but I couldn't read fast enough, clear enough... as my brain saw words that were not there... my brain painted a picture ahead of my eyes and mouth. 

Come to find out I needed glasses!  You know just one more thing to make my orthopaedic shoes stand out more, my long forehead I was already teased about... I was missforhead four eyes.  Kids are cruel.  At some point parents and teachers have to step in and step in they did (in those days)... BUT my brain adapted and it started to create another world faster than that of the kids making fun of me. 

I made up stories in my head.
I made up new worlds in my mind.
And when I felt threatened I retreated into my own world... talking or writing.

My parents worried about all my alone time in my room, they worried about things worse than what was in my mind, and as it lingered into teenage years... they worried about drugs, alcohol and peer pressure.

My only peer pressure was actually in my own family.  Those of my generation but older than me, raised completely different from me, in a different state, very few rules or guidelines, and more freedom than anyone else I knew of...  they were the pressure of drugs, alcohol, and stupid things to do.  After all they were older than me, family, and suppose to be trust worthy.... NOT...

My parents were good people
Ask any parent about money in the 70's and how it was hard to come by.
Gas was getting more expensive, basics sky rocketing, and with THREE kids to feed with one small income it was tight.
BUT we were always taken into town, The Nut Cracker ballet, The Parthenon, The parks all around town not excluding those Saturday Library trips to get books, and return the others. 

I got my glasses, they called it lazy eye, had to have sunglasses when ever I went outside, wasn't allowed to squent one eye or I was going to end up with a patch over my eye all the time.  

I knew how to read... I just couldn't... well I could but it was slow and painful and I never wanted to read aloud.   By the 6th grade I could barely read out loud like a 3rd grader.  I could write fine, but just don't ask me to read.  Please stop asking me to read aloud teachers... they never did... SO  My parents did as every other parent would do, they got me a tutor.

Turned out it was a sweet lady from church.  Ms June Spain a relative by marriage... and a long family friend.  Likely in the eastern star (not sure but they all were in those days) likely in the ladies home club, definitely an active member of the community.  

She painfully listened to me each day after school. 
With her help my mind settled, she slowed me down even more and showed me how to concentrate on a specific line, then a sentence, then a paragraph till finally I could read a chapter without being disgusted with my self. 

I continued to write all the time.  I filled spiral notebooks, several if not almost hundreds, of all my pain, all my thoughts, all my dreams.  By the time I got to college my writing was good enough I wrote for my boyfriend who always got a's on his ... while I still got c's on mine.  Written by the same hand, mind and soul but the judgement was there.  It was a strange situation.  I finally got out of that one too. 

But no matter how horrible your kids read, and even if they do not like to read, we all need to find a book that inspires us.  We all need to write even if only for ourselves, so we continue to better ourselves in any and every way possible.

What prompted this post? The movie... The Mighty.... great movie for kids to watch.

Friday, March 29, 2013

This is a strange time for me to be typing.
It's PM instead of the dark of AM

Normally I am up early anywhere from 3am till about 5am if I'm lucky.
Today many things around me changed so I'm up after 7pm.  All the animals fed and the birds all nestled in their fuzzy cuddle bunnies.  The ones I am pet sitting are covered and I hear them grinding their beaks. 

The house is warmer than normal, merely for the birds I am sitting, not our normal 60 degrees down here. I've turned off the heat upstairs to save money as all the heat rises anyway... so.... even with doors closed it is warmer than normal.

I've made black bean soup today.
All from dried beans, grated onions, carrots, and celery, a can of salsa is the only thing not scratch and that is all the salt added.  There is enough for an army, so I am likely to be eating soup and making black bean tacos with them as well.

Snow is falling once again as the temperatures fall with the sun.

I hope my dreams put me to sleep instead of keeping me awake.

My love to the world!
I hope you are are staying as busy and I am trying to be.

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Life in the wait.

For the third day in a row;
As the snow falls effortlessly like feathers.
The trees ready to burst,
and the birds desperately protecting their eggs.

I fear the frog eggs in my little pond will not survive this freeze and thaw, freeze and thaw, with no protections.

Life and its circle are continuous...
Never a far distance vision...
but a short visions ever changing
as we walk in the circle of life that is never ending...

Another cold frozen morning...
Hot mash for my horses.
Hot veggies for all the birds.

Another day wrapped so tightly I can't feel the warmth of the sun on my skin.
Another day of boots and mud as the ground warms the falling snow.
Another day of possibilites ... as I await for Old Man Winter to fall asleep again and the animals to awaken,
and it all feed my soul.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

why is it so hard?

Well... after working so many hours I cleaned each corner of my house except the birds room... My pet sitting birds arrived before I could do the birds room and I can't do it while they are here.  Why because as healthy as my birds are, all birds carry silent issues.  Thus I can not expose other birds to anything mine carry.   It is all a matter of chance but a chance I do not take with other peoples lovely family members.

So I've worked hard physically.
I've kept myself busy in order not to go crazy!
? no job!
But at least I am not spending money, wasting gas, and I am saving us money by getting things on sale when I can and planning ahead as I once did.

BUT at some point I have got to get another job.
YES I am looking each day... YES I have a quota of putting out at least 10 applications and resumes' a day and I do except on Sundays when there are rarely new post.

I know... I am an average person... but I'm not.
I know... I am average in knowledge...but I'm not.
I know ... I am a good worker, I put my all into anything I do.
I know... I will be a good employee for someone IF they will give me a chance.
I know... I have pulled my weight at any job I did and contributed in any way I could and I will again.

Today it is all about computers.
Today you have to fill out an application on line, and HOPE someone calls you back.  YES I make calls yes I follow up but no one seems to like that at all?

Funny how we used to walk into a place fill out an application and ask for an interview, if one was granted you had a time and place in mind, you went, you answered more questions and hoped for one more interview.... Today your application sits in a computer never making it to a desk much less getting any type of indication it has been read or even printed out at any point.

If anyone has any ideas on how I am to do this better please let me know... I am afraid technology has surpassed the human touch of getting a job.  At this point any job.

Yes the depression starts to set in.
Yes the knowledge of not contributing to my house starts to set in.
Yes the weight of hardships to come starts to hit home.
Yes it all gets heavier as time goes on...
Yes noise gets in
Yes the static or fog starts to blur my vision of life.
YES... YES....YES...
But life goes on and I have to push forward, keep going, and I will get a job!

Tomorrow I will apply for more positions, I will pull more grass clumps, I will turn over a few more feet of earth for my garden, I will push through all the walls in my way; as I do what needs to be done, I do what I must to work and keep going...

Heavy one day, Light the next, but life all the same.
My love to the world...

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Grass, Rain and weeding.

I'm in a pickle.
I have but one piece of machinery and very few hand tools.

So as it has been raining as of late, and during the day the ground is not frozen, it appears this is going to be the perfect day to weed my garden areas for spring.

I plan to work a tiny section next to the barn today.  I hope to work the soil, pull the grass clumps, and rid the area of live roots.  IF I have time I will re build the wall I asked the guys to put up earlier but they didn't care of what they were doing and it is down.  So I will beat stakes or limbs into the ground to hold the branches I will stack as a wall. 

I will only be out in the rain doing this for a short while as I allow my mare out of grass.  I am excited about getting a few things done in the rain today.  Rain and Snow are not a big deal IF you have the gear.

Oh well wish me luck!

Monday, March 25, 2013

How are you on groceries?

We are doing well on $50.00 a week.  This is what is allowed the "average" person on welfare so a long time ago I figured I'd try it to see how it works out for us.  It took me a while to cut the fat out of our diet, keep in the protein, and not allow all the processed foods to creep back in.  It takes time to plan but it is working!  The crock pot is my best friend! 

With only fifty dollars I do well enough to get One Chicken, One piece of Beef, or Pork.  I get Salmon when it is on sale! But I recently found at my most hated store I can get what they call Wild Salmon (it does not stay pink when I cook it!!!!!so it is NOT REALLY wild!  )I get a LARGE piece of Salmon for only $10.00 yep it is enough for him to eat three times a me twice. so 2 dollars a serving! Can't beat that! Or can you? I'm sure there are those out there much better at this than me, but we all have to try. But I would also like to learn from others as well.

I no longer allow myself Coke... my one horrible addiction!   I could drink it more than water if allowed.  But instead I spend 1/2 that amount on Tea.  Green Tea mostly, but when I am trying to sleep it will not do, I switch to a loose tea I get from Asheville that is caffeine free.  Tonight it is rose tea.... most of the time it is lavender, because I grow it and use it to spray the birds and give it to them once a week to drink.  They love it and it has good qualities to it for us all.  Not to forget it makes the closets smell good!  If I can't afford tea's from the grocery, don't put it past me not to use the peelings from oranges, apples, or any fruit I have had in the past few months to flavor my water.

I did just recently loose my fridge and freezer so that means I lost all my frozen berries, stocks, and frozen veggies.  This was a hard blow but I will build it all back up over time.  One chicken can get me 4 more stocks for later. 

I base all my cooking around Soups now.
So a bag of potatoes
A bag of onions
A bag of carrots
one bunch of celery
two heads of garlic
Sweet Potatoes
Dried Beans of all types... depending on the meat I get!
I get dried chilies when I can
Nuts ... almonds, walnuts
I get what ever fresh fruit I can when they go on sale.
sometimes cuties are cheaper than oranges. (I keep their skins and boil them for different reasons)
Apples are normally decently priced around here.
I still have kale and chard in the garden (yep it's almost April and it lasted all winter) those are free and easy as a side dish.
my most expensive item is my gluten free flours.  I have yet to perfect making/mixing them myself and until I do... well it EATS my budget.... good thing is I ration it out pretty well so I now stick the money back each week for replacement time.

I only purchase a whole Chicken.  Why? because in dishes the dark meat always has more flavor, the white ... well 1/2 of it normally disappears before I can get the chicken out of the crock pot.  The hubby just loves it. (cooked with all the veggies above of course, no salt!) One chicken will make two casseroles and plain eating as well.  A casserole should last the two of us a few days (3) at the least.  And a Chicken Pot pie last a little longer.So over a week on one chicken! Not to forget its incredible stock it makes after I pull all the meat off the bones. 
And don't think those peelings, skins or tops of veggies go directly into the compost pile either!  I slowly boil them all to an incredible stock before I allow their remains to go into the compost pile.  That way there is no hard debate of onions bothering worms as most say they are fine if they are cooked... and by the time they get them, there is little to digest anyway.
I do on occasion purchase cilantro fresh but it too will be popping up in the garden soon.
I pull my herbs from my herb garden and have them stashed everywhere in the kitchen cabinets, still on the drying rack and some in jars kept over from when I did purchase them years before.
several types of Thyme
Basil... (harder to keep but there are ways)

So Potato Soup can be made several ways and used to stretch more hardy soups as well.
But my French Onion Soup is one that my friends always think I got somewhere else and brought it in just for them.  Not to mention as I SLOWLY cook these onions I set aside some for sandwiches later in the week. 
Bean Soups are a good staple as well, they vary depending on the meat at hand. 

Life is good and will be even better when fresh food starts to grow at the back door, at the barn and ONLY if I get the old gravely going in the garden section on the estate. 

How well does your kitchen run?
What food is your staple?
How much do you spend on food?
Would you try cutting your bill down to $50.00 a couple?  I didn't think it could be done!

Sunday, March 24, 2013

Magazines and Books

Oh how I love the smell of a book.
BUT what do you do with your books after you are done?
If it has good research, ideas for projects, or gives me support with being suffient I have the hardest time getting rid of it.

I have squares of books hidden in them.  I have books stacked in areas, each with their own catagories.  Living roofs, shade plants, native plants, options instead of invasive plants , companion plantings or beautiful gardens to eat from.  How can I get rid of these things I use?  I sometimes put them ALL together and search through them for a specific.  Sometimes I reseach on line and then search out the hard copy.  I hate to waste paper printing something out that I already had. 

Don't get me wrong... I go through each and every one and I tear out all the advertizements that I don't care about.  It makes the magazines much smaller... pages and pages of things from the back.  I use these throw away pages on the edges of my plant areas.  NOT around my plants but on the edges where the grass starts to move back in quicker and easier than other places that are being worked more regularly.

How do you throw all yours away?
What do you do with them when you do?
What do you do when you need the information or want the artical again?

I need help! 
No I am not at a hoarding point, but it is at the point I can no longer allow the space to keep them.
I use them...
I use them especially when the sun is gone in the winter and I need something bright to help me plan and dream of a better garden or another way I can work to make my barn more effecient, healthier for my horses; or how I can add more animals without adding a lot more time.
What trees do I need to add next
What bushes do I add for more food, what soil do they need, what ammendments it require.  What are the pest problems? 

I know .... I know... but searching on line is not always the easiest or the most correct way to research things.  So much crap to go through on the internet as where I pick up a book or a magazine I can use the internet to check the references and see where they take me. 

Any ideas out there?
I'll stop my rattle!
But this is where my mind goes when I try to narrow down my stacks each year.

My love to the world... And Thank You ahead of time!  Anything is a help.

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Half way through.

It only took me forever, but the living room is now clean top to bottom.  I threw away several bags of things I just wasn't using, didn't need and were taking up space in my life. 

Antique Bird Cage on the front porch... and getting its touch ups to be sold ASAP. 

The only thing I didn't get cleaned out was the supply cabinet next to the front closet.
I am not going to worry about this until I get through the first floor of the house. 

The Bathroom is my next task... the crome is rusted and bleeds down the antique tub.  It is a perfect tiny bathroom.  Only a medacine cabnet for storage; litterally nothing else in the room so we live out of travel toiletry bags.  After the bath then I move on to the birds room as soon as I can.
It is so nice having clean floors.  What you have to understand is I am at the barn several times a day, so it's not mud I'm tracking back into my little house it is much more! ha ha ha...

When I get to the birds room that means more natural fertilizer for my plant beds I just made at the back door.  I have the bird cages lined with horse litter.  What you ask.... Yep it is the same stuff as the natural cat litter but in a horse size.  Cheaper too I may add.  If you look into any of this just know you have to stock up when Fall comes around.  They use these same size pellets for pellet stoves so they only make the little so many months a year.  I get mine from several different suppliers.  Tractor Supply and Southern States and a local dealer as well.   In a room of three birds it perfectly keeps the smells down.  It allowed me a much longer time in between cleans while I was working.  But I was starting to get desperate to clean (like I have the other rooms...) all the same. 

As soon as I can I'll be getting out the camera again.  I'm just so focused on scrubbing floors, baseboards and walls all in the opposite order but all the same.  I have not strapped on the camera much less allowed my hands such delicate work thus far.

Yes I will stop talking about all this stuff soon, but it is after all the perfect timing for a good spring cleaning....

So what are you getting rid of?
What are you keeping and Why?

ME? OMG my worst issue at this point is my collection of books and magazines.  If anyone has any idea on what I can do PLEASE LET me know.

Friday, March 22, 2013

Clean Floors

After doing the kitchen... I didn't stop.
 I finished the Dinning room yesterday and started in on the Living room. 
As I sit here it is all a mess. 
All the furniture pushed over close to the front door, everything piled as high as it will go.

So Today I plan to re-arrange the living room as I clean the floors as perfectly as I did the kitchen and dinning room yesterday.

I've already moped the kitchen and dinning room once more today it just feels so good to accomplish such little things. ... Kitchen still good but the dinning room is for the birds at this point... till the end of the month so that is well.... not worth a thing.

But when on a roll just keep on going! Let it roll at full speed and do it the best you can.

So Living room today, after I meet with a horse client to go over weekend needs, after I get back from my horses... I'll put Sweet Pea out; come back start boiling the water... as I do my shipping and billing for another company ... then go back get one horse in, feed them both, brush them both, beat the blankets on the fence (with an antique rug beater) as SweetPea is going to need them again tonight and every night for the next week. 

Figure out what I am going to use to cover all my trees tonight.  I have apples, pears, cherries that will all need protected due to the temperatures going into freezing every night for the next week.  What a spring! We had 60 degree days splattered throughout all the winter months, but now that it is spring... it's freezing temperatures. Whats the big deal? there is not one except that I want fruit this year, but the blankets I normally use for the trees are the ones I use to protect my table and floor from the birds. 

I'll get it figured out... If not I'll just have to make choices!

Life !

Oh well...I'll let you know what we do!
My love to the world.

Thursday, March 21, 2013

a little done... and a little more to be done.

Well it is just after 8am and I've cleaned the oven, had one pot of coffee, cleaned out from beneath the sink and then scrubbed the kitchen floor by hand. 

Sounds like a lot but my kitchen floor is old linoleum and is smaller than most closets of todays standards.  So while it doesnt take me forever but today I wanted it all VERY clean.  After 8 months of no real cleaning; all I wanted was the cleaning water to be clear before I stopped and that only took cleaning the floor FOUR TIMES!

Yes all natural ... with brush, sponge, and rag on my hands and knees.
It always starts with boiling water.
Then Borax and natural soap.... to get the hard stuff...  had to do this twice today!
Then on to my vinegar...
Then.... finally on to only boiling water ... I did put peppermint oil in it! Just to ward off any mice that wanted to visit my kitchen.... I switch this up with Orange Oil for roaches!   HEY it's an old house and preventive is the best medicine.

I have birds so I can't use a lot of chemicals.

Oh well on to the real chores... Letting SweetPea out for a few hours, Doing Shipping and doing the same to the Living Room Floor as... I have pet sitting Birds this week along with three horses down the road to care for.  SO ... at least they will allow me a little money for the kids. 

of course I started this post... and lost internet connection so it will be posted hours later... but posted all the same...

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Putting it all back together.

While I never stopped pet sitting birds... I turned my horse clients away on a regular basis.
Because it was exhausting to work so many hours...
Because I know I could have never picked up on the little things being so tired.  I could have never done the good job I am used to providing.

While I never told them I was no longer doing such work... I merely explained my schedule was full except for Sunday.  Thus making myself in demand instead of ? well not doing it.

So this week is the first week back into the pet world to make a little money.
Birds come in this week and horses scheduled for this weekend.

I am also going to venture with another pet sitter into helping both she and myself expand our services by providing backup for each other... and I will give her the cats and dogs while she will allow me the farm animals to tend.

So life is getting back on track... Just wish me luck getting it going full speed again.

My love to the world

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

it was HARD to do!

Agreeing to go against my principals.  Shopping at a store that treats its employees like cattle.  That does little for its community.  That puts the little man out of a job.  I wish I didn't have too... but right now this was my best way to make a bad situation easier...

Well today I copped out and did something I rarely ever do.
I went to Wally World...
My dear Father gave me a gift certificate to wally world and today I finally used to to purchase basics, (I've had it sense Christmas... ) but only after going to every local store doing my homework on prices and making sure I only got things we would need and save us money.

What did we get.
Toilet Paper because you can never have too much.
Paper Towels... I use cloth but the hubby has never used anything but the paper stuff. (I try to put them in my compost as much as possible)
Liquid soaps... I use bar but he loves his
Corn meal... I was out and it was cheaper.
Salmon... frozen of course but we love to eat salmon instead of beef, pork or chicken when ever we can.
peroxide yes hydrogen peroxide... can never have too much with me and horses!

But the point is all of this for less than one hundred dollars.  I have a little left over on my card so as much as I hate to admit I'll likely go back to get tomato plants, annual herbs, and soil amenders.

But all these for our stock pile without spending anything thanks to my Daddy!
Love you Daddy... perfect gift!
Perfect day!
My love to the world.

Monday, March 18, 2013

Well here I am again...
As I sit in a dark room typing on this computer...
I formulate a plan.

I took insurance classes, passed, got a job and was working over 100 hours a week... spending money and making nothing for 8 long months.  Someone my age can only dedicate so much energy to the promise land when in fact not being at home cost me more money in my grocery bills.  LOTS more in my gas bills, car maintenance, and clothing (cleaning) bills.

So here I am getting the house back under control.  Getting the animals settled once again. And TRYING to find yet another job that I can do the typical 40 /40 plan... yes... I left out the last forty as I do not have forty years left in my working life.

My plan for the day.
go let one of my horses out to eat pasture to save me some money.
in the two hours I allow her in pasture I will clean the barn and cut horrible wild rose brush from around the estate.  Making my time worth while. 

After that I plan to come home do shipping/ billing/ and take care of the business in my house.

I then plan to get the birds out... caging them one by one in travel cages so I can start to clean their room.
My birds are healthy sooooo.... like chicken poop being one of the best natural fertilizers I will add their mess to my newly created raised beds at the back door so I can start putting a little food at the back door and use my dish washing water as water to keep them alive each day.

What goes into these beds.... Well for the past few months... all my coffee grounds... some bags of feed that got left in the back of my truck when a friend borrowed it for moving months ago.... and any scrap from my kitchen that doesn't contain fat.  Why no fat you ask.... because worms do not like fat!

I want healthy soil for my two tomatoes plants I am planning... my carrots I want to plant for the fall and a few more things I want to keep my kitchen going as long as possible with no more money than necessary.

I have saved my change for years and instead of using it for a travel trip... ( I normally use my change for spending money when we travel)  I will use it to purchase plants for eating this year! All a fair trade I think!

As the sun starts to rise I must get to my chores.  I will check in as much as possible as I look for new work, as I pick up my camera once again and as we ALL struggle a little more than we once did with the economy being what it is.

My love to the world