Sunday, November 11, 2012

From the darkness back into the light.

Yes I have been a dark soul of late.  Life stopped me in my tracks as it always does; WHY we think everything is ever going to be exactly HOW we want or expect it to be is beyond me... but I do it all the time.

So while I have been on line, dwelling in my own issues, while I lay in bed waiting for my back to heal itself.... I finally GOT OUT of my shell!   (actually just out of the house)

So today was all about feeding my soul... taking my meds so I could move more like a 60 year old than an 80... (trying to laugh here)   So I spent time with the birds we all needed it, gave them their favorite feed... not the everyday stuff.  So they will really be surprised when I spend time with them again tomorrow.  I then I enjoyed a ride down town to get some of my favorite things...

a strong jasmine tea
Real Cinnamon
Lavender (for me for the birds etc... )
bamboo rice ... you know the things you can't get in your normal store.

I then went to the barn loved on my kids;  laid on the ground;  then the bail of hay my hubby was sweet enough to put out in the field.  As I sat on the hay a friend stopped by, I stayed seated... and dug my toes into the dirt at any point they started to get cool.  The warmth of the dirt was so perfect. 

Best yet it was the neighbor/friend that was the icing on the cake... We got to talk, instead of me typing into this computer.

It was with her I first expressed my Ah Ha Moment!

I had been working so hard I had lost site of the beauty in my life.  For all my years I have kept my feet on the ground, collected hand made things to make me feel more alive.  To have ART in my life even if I could no longer create it myself, others could and it feeds energy to me.

Like the Cravens... They are such a light in my life... normally on days like today I would have stopped by their studio... banged on the door till I got a hug from Joe Lydia... as Ian would only respond to her prodding him for support for me while he acted to not listen to my negative energy.  A hug from her was like an open force of light that would always erase the darkness of any day!  

I have no family in town... I have but two real friends... one is traveling... the other is so at my beckon call I dare not ask.

Everything I did today I needed. laying in the sun... fingers to the skin of Sweet Pea and Navarre.  The digging in the dirt with my toes..

AND the realization that life is still beautiful... all around me... my plates are pieces of Joe Lydia and Ian... My hubby has been a God send doing EVERYTHING for me... laundry, helping to even get into the shower... asking me if I need ANYTHING at any point that he passes me.

I was starting to be more and more closed off.  Getting out of this dark, dank, cold house, and... spot looking at all the fuzz that is blocking my clear mountain views of a beautiful world...



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